First Peer Review of Senior Year. Huzzah! - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

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First Peer Review of Senior Year. Huzzah!


College Application Essay Workshop First Peer Review of Senior Year. Huzzah! – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: First Peer Review of Senior Year. Huzzah!

College Application Essay Workshop
  • First Peer Review of Senior Year. Huzzah!

Next Step
  • Make sure your name is on your essay.
  • Make sure your prompt is the title (and you have
    a word count).
  • Put the papers from your group into a stack.
  • Take a yellow sticky and put your group number on
  • Place the yellow sticky on the front of the stack
    of papers.
  • Front Row (Left to Right/facing the board) 1, 2,
  • Middle Row () 4, 5, 6
  • Back Row () 7, 8, 9
  • Have one person from the group get pink, yellow,
    and green highlighters from the cabinet.

Switching Papers
  • Take your groups stack of papers and send it to
    the group sitting behind you.
  • Back row, bring your stack to the front.
  • Group 3 would go to Group 6.
  • Group 6 would go to Group 9.
  • Group 9 would go to Group 3.
  • Now, send the new group of papers to the right,
    if you are facing the board.
  • Group 1 would go to Group 2.
  • Group 2 would go to Group 3.
  • Group 3 would go to Group 1.

  • Write your name at the top of the essay you will
    be revising.
  • Make a key at the top of the persons paper using
    your highlighters
  • GreenConnection to the big idea (abstract
  • YellowTelling (background, explaining)
  • PinkShowing (you can imagine yourself there)
  • concrete/vivid details

Prompt and Essay
  • Look at the prompt. Is it written at the top of
    the paper?
  • If not, write a note asking them to do so.
  • Read the entire essay.
  • Pencils down.
  • Do not comment on it yet, just read it.
  • Does the essay answer every aspect of the prompt?
  • Check the word count Is the essay within the
    word count?
  • If there is no word count, is the essay at least
    3 paragraphs?

Anecdote Review
  • Read the ANECDOTE again
  • What sense do you get from the story (positive,
  • Write your answer on the essay.
  • Are you getting a sense of any green concepts?
  • What are the green Big Idea words, you think
    the author is writing about?
  • Write those words at the top of the essay.
  • Are you IN the story, or is it just ABOUT a time?
  • Write your initial thoughts on the essay.
  • Could the author include dialog?

Anecdote Review
  • Do you feel like you are sitting with the person?
  • Can you feel the sun on your face/hear the roar
    of the crowd?
  • Highlight papers for showing vs. telling now
  • Showing using vivid details, staying in the
  • Put a hashtag () next to areas where the author
    told instead of showed.
  • EX for SHOW The sting shot pain all the way to
    my elbow, causing me to marvel at how much
    punishment a minuscule creature can inflict
    (Kidd 167).

Anecdote Review
  • Are the green words supported by the anecdote?
  • Go back through the anecdote. Has the author
    CLEARLY SHOWN these green words?
  • If not, write which green words need to be more
  • If so, give an example how the author showed the
    green word in the anecdote.

Anecdote Review
  • Check for clichés
  • Quiet as a mouse bored to tears bright as
    the sun
  • Circle all clichés and write a different way to
    phrase it next to each
  • Is it vague?
  • You can easily answer this by looking at what you
  • If you highlighted more SHOWING than telling,
    then the story is probably clear.
  • Do you get a clear picture of the story the
    writer is telling?
  • If no, write a note at the end of their paper
    about this.
  • If yes, write how they achieved this.
  • Is it written in the appropriate register?
  • Casual includes I, but not slang.

Thesis Check
  • Does the writer have an effective thesis
  • Circle the green word, in green.
  • Circle the reference to the anecdote (implied or
    direct) in yellow.
  • Circle the answer to the prompt in pink.
  • If the thesis statement is missing, write that in
    the margins.
  • Include how/where a thesis statement might fit.

Is it Connected to the Prompt?
  • Look at the commentary
  • Highlight areas that connect the anecdote to the
    prompt (commentary/character).
  • EX for Commentary/Character Im prideful enough
    to say I didnt complain. After you get stung,
    you cant get unstung no matter how much you
    whine about it (Kidd 167).
  • Re-read the prompt
  • Has the writer addressed what the prompt is
    asking for?
  • If yes, write fulfilled prompt next to the
  • If no, write didnt address the prompt or
    missing part of the question next to the
  • Circle any parts of the prompt that the writer
    has not addressed.

Tying Everything Together
  • Underline everything that directly or indirectly
    refers to the green word (in green).
  • Star everything that seems misplaced, off topic,
    or random.
  • Include grammar, punctuation, or spelling
  • If you know the correction that needs to be made,
    write it next to the error.
  • If you do not know the correction, just leave the
    star next to the error.

Cut the Fluff
  • Read the paper again.
  • Cross out anything that doesnt add value to the
    essay (can be extra words, phrases, clauses, or
    whole sentences).
  • Put an X next to anything that seems awkward.
  • Cross out every example of you and your
    UNLESS it is part of dialogue in the anecdote.
  • Remember the anecdote is supposed to be about I.

Wonderful/Things to Consider
  • At the end of your partners paper, write TWO
    things that they did well.
  • Be specific.
  • Everyone does at least two things right in every
  • Write TWO things that they need to improve.
  • Be specific.
  • Offer suggestions to fix it.
  • Always assume they made an error because they
    dont know how to do it.

  • Put the papers back into a stack with the sticky
  • Send one person from your group to return the
    stack of papers to the original group.
  • Look at your own rough draft.
  • Check out the notes and corrections.
  • Do you have enough pink details?
  • Is there a thesis statement?
  • These are corrections that need to be made

For tomorrow
  • You must turn in ALL of the following to be
    considered complete and on-time.
  • Final draft with prompt as the title (with the
    word count).
  • MLA format
  • receipt/confirmation
  • P1 10574406/anecdote
  • P2 10574412/anecdote2
  • P3 10574419/anecdote3
  • P5 10574425/anecdote5
  • P6 10574435/anecdote6
  • The password is all lower case with no spaces.
  • Work-shopped draft
  • I will check to make sure changes were made.
  • Original handwritten anecdote with notes.
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