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Building and managing the mentoring relationship


Building and managing the mentoring relationship – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: Building and managing the mentoring relationship

Building and managing the mentoring relationship
Building the Mentoring Relationship Empathy
and Rapport
  • This section of the advanced mentor training aims
    to show the student mentor the importance of
    empathy and rapport in building a good mentoring
The Process of Mentoring Building Empathy
  • Being open to the ideas of others.
  • Showing sensitivity to the values and feelings of
  • Showing you are interested and you understand.
  • Showing an awareness that everyone has their own
    perspective or mental model. People are
    different, some are practical and deal with facts
    whereas others use metaphors or images. The
    empathy builder notices this and reflects back
    through matching and mirroring.
  • Reflecting back - reflects back what the person
    is a saying.
  • What do you think empathy is? When have you
    experienced it?
The Process of Mentoring Building Rapport
  • Rapport can happen naturally but more often it
    grows out of a series of communications as trust
    develops. It is built through upholding
    confidentiality, showing warmth, demonstrating
    good listening ability and being empathic.
  • You can encourage this by the way you look and
    present yourself, using positive body language
    and gestures, the tone of voice and carefully
    chosen language.
  • Think about a relationship youve had with
    little or no rapport
  • how did you know, what was missing?
Carefully chosen language Jargon busting
  • Remember that not everyone understands
    specialist words or jargon. This is
    particularly important when working with young
    people who have had little experience of Higher
  • Words such as those below can be confusing and
  • HE, FE, Degree, Seminar, Lecture, Tutorial,
    Undergraduate, Faculty, BA, BSc, Campus ...
  • What can you do about this as an Outreach
Establishing the relationship
  • Your work as an Outreach Ambassador may involve
    working with an individual or a group over a
    period of time. This enables you to establishing
    a positive relationship.
  • You do this through your mentoring skills and
    making it clear you are on their side. You are
    there to help, to inform, to listen.
  • Be clear about the purpose and expectations of
    the relationship. What is the contract? How long
    will it last? How often will you meet?
  • In order to build rapport and trust there needs
    to be confidentiality however there is a need
    to break this if you have reason to believe that
    a young person under 18 or a vulnerable adult is
    being abused.
  • What are the building blocks necessary for
    establishing a positive
  • helping relationship?
A professional approach
  • The way you present yourself is important in
    building trust, respect and a successful
    mentoring experience.
  • Be punctual, reliable and appropriately dressed.
    Do what you say you will do. Know the limits of
    what you are going to do so dont promise what
    you cant deliver.
  • Be personable - smile, show an interest, be aware
    of peoples needs, listen.
  • Be prepared show good organisation, have all
    materials at hand, be aware of Health ands Safety
  • Be positive always look for the good side, use
    humour appropriately. Avoid criticising.
  • Be honest if you dont know the answer, say so
    , but suggest a way to find out.
Telling your story
  • As a champion of the University of Worcester one
    of the best ways of building trust with your
    mentees and communicating the advantages of HE
    is to tell your story.
  • What is your background, what are you studying
    and why? What has your journey been like. Talk
    about your feelings as well as the facts. Be
    honest but positive. Expect a wide range of
    questions some of which will be surprising.
Emotional Intelligence
  • A key aspect of successful mentoring is emotional
    intelligence (EQ).
  • Emotional intelligence is the ability to
    recognize your emotions, understand what they're
    telling you, and realize how your emotions affect
    people around you.
  • Emotional intelligence also involves your
    perception of others when you understand how
    they feel, this allows you to manage
    relationships more effectively.
Emotional Intelligence
  • This is essentially being aware of your own
    feelings and those of others.
  • People with high EQ
  • are able to recognise and label their own
  • take responsibility for their feelings and use
    them to make choices
  • They respect the feelings of others and dont
    blame, command, criticise, control or judge
  • Its about managing ourselves and understanding
  • Those with low EQ may lack confidence and
  • Think of a time when you had strong feelings
  • study issue e.g. some criticism about your work.
  • How did you respond to them?
Emotional Intelligence
  • "The ability to perceive emotion, integrate
    emotion to facilitate thought, understand
    emotions and to regulate emotions to promote
    personal growth." Salovey Mayer (2001)
  • Perceiving emotions the ability to detect and
    decipher emotions in faces, pictures, voices, and
    cultural artefacts including the ability to
    identify one's own emotions.
  • Using emotions the ability to harness emotions
    to facilitate various cognitive activities, such
    as thinking and problem solving. The emotionally
    intelligent person can capitalize fully upon his
    or her changing moods in order to best fit the
    task at hand.
Emotional Intelligence
  • Understanding emotions the ability to
    comprehend emotion language and to appreciate
    complicated relationships among emotions. For
    example, understanding emotions encompasses the
    ability to be sensitive to slight variations
    between emotions, and the ability to recognize
    and describe how emotions evolve over time.
  • Managing emotions the ability to regulate
    emotions in both ourselves and in others.
    Therefore, the emotionally intelligent person can
    harness emotions, even negative ones, and manage
    them to achieve intended goals.
Emotional Intelligence
  • Daniel Goleman (1999) suggests these
  • Self-awareness the ability to know one's
    emotions, strengths, weaknesses, drives, values
    and goals and recognize their impact on others
    while using gut feelings to guide decisions.
  • Self-regulation involves controlling or
    redirecting one's disruptive emotions and
    impulses and adapting to changing circumstances.
  • Social skill managing relationships to move
    people in the desired direction
  • Empathy - considering other people's feelings
    especially when making decisions .
  • Motivation - being driven to achieve for the sake
    of achievement.
Improving Emotional Intelligence
  • Being aware of how others learn and how they
    respond are parts of developing an emotional
    intelligence. Being aware of others feelings and
    your own and relating intelligently help build
    good mentoring relationships.
  • Observe how you react to people. Dont rush to
    judge other people. Try to put yourself in their
    place, and try to be more aware of their point of
    view and needs.
  • Put the focus on your mentee, give them a chance
    to develop, dont worry about getting praise for
Improving Emotional Intelligence
  • How you react to stressful situations. Keep your
    emotions under control when things go wrong.
    Learn to stay calm and in control in difficult
    situations so that your mentee does not
  • Take responsibility for your actions. If you hurt
    someone's feelings or make a mistake, apologize
    directly. People are usually more understanding
    and able to forgive and forget if you are open
    and honest about your mistakes.
  • Be aware of how your actions will affect others,
    put yourself in their place.
  • Think before you act!
Prompting action and moving on
  • It is good to encourage others to commit to a
    next step. As a mentor and Outreach Ambassador
    you can help this process by asking commitment
  • A good techniques is to ask for a score
  • For example Out of 10, how committed are you
    to attending the open day at the university?
  • Think of a time when you made a commitment which
    changed your life. What was the process you went
Moving on and endings
  • As the mentoring and Outreach work comes to a
    close its important that this is done smoothly.
    It is good to plan for this so there is time to
    reflect on what has been achieved.
  • It is always good to summarise what you have done
    together and to thank people for their
    contributions and engagement.
  • If possible this can be a closing event of some
    kind. This is especially appropriate for a group.
Moving on and endings
  • There is often a degree of sadness and regret at
    the ending of an effective relationship.
  • It is important that the relationship finishes on
    a positive note and celebrates success in the
    final review.
  • It is useful to provide contact details for the
    university or department but not your personal
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