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Family Circle Meeting


Prophet Ibrahim (peace be upon him) was Hajira's husband, and Ismail's father. ... I have made of my offspring to dwell in a valley without ... Breastfeeding: ... – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: Family Circle Meeting

Family Circle Meeting 2August 10, 2008
  • Topic
  • Family Dynamics in Islam
  • Presented by
  • Nada Abdo o)

  • Mothers (in Quran and Hadith)
  • Islamic Parenting
  • Children as mentioned in Quran
  • Rights of Children
  • Rights of Parents
  • Respect for Parents
  • Fathers
  • Closing Remarks Questions/ Comments/ Discussion
    from Audience

  • The Prophet Muhammad said
  • Your Heaven lies under the feet of your mother
    (Ahmad, Nasai). Ask your mom to lift her feet, so
    you can locate where Jannah is. Then tell others
    about your discovery by sharing what Islam has to
    say about moms and their importance in our

Mothers Quranic References
  • 1. "We have enjoined on man kindness to his
    parents in pain did his mother bear him, and in
    pain did she give him birth" (4615).
  • 2. "Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none
    but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether
    one or both of them attain old age in thy life,
    say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel
    them, but address them in terms of honor. And out
    of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility,
    and say My Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy even
    as they cherished me in childhood' "(1723-24).

Mothers Hadith References
  • 1. The Prophet Muhammad said, may Allah's peace
    and blessings be upon him Your Heaven lies under
    the feet of your mother (Ahmad, Nasai).
  • 2. A man came to the Prophet and said, O
    Messenger of God! Who among the people is the
    most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet
    said Your mother. The man said, Then who?' The
    Prophet said Then your mother. The man further
    asked, Then who?' The Prophet said Then your
    mother. The man asked again, Then who?' The
    Prophet said Then your father. (Bukhari,

Mothers Quranic References (cont.)
  • We have enjoined on man and woman kindness to
    parents but if they (either of them) strive (to
    force) thee to join with Me anything of which
    thou hast no knowledge, obey them not (298).
  • 4. "We have enjoined on man and woman (to be
    good) to his/her parents show gratitude to Me
    and to thy parents to Me is (thy final) Goal. If
    they (parents) strive to make thee join in
    worship with Me things of which thou hast no
    knowledge, obey them not yet bear them company
    in this life with justice (and consideration) and
    follow the way of those who turn to Me (in love)"

Mothers Hadith References (cont.)
  • 3. Abu Usaid Saidi said We were once sitting
    with Rasulullah when a man from the tribe of
    Salmah came and said to him O Messenger of
    Allah! do my parents have rights over me even
    after they have died? And Rasulullah said Yes.
    You must pray to Allah to bless them with His
    Forgiveness and Mercy, fulfill the promises they
    made to anyone, and respect their relations and
    their friends (Abu Dawud and Ibn Majah).
  • 4. Abdullah ibn Amr related that the Messenger of
    Allah said The major sins are to believe that
    Allah has partners, to disobey one's parents, to
    commit murder, and to bear false witness
    (Bukhari, Muslim).
  • 5. It is narrated by Asma bint Abu Bakr that
    during the treaty of Hudaibiyah, her mother, who
    was then pagan, came to see her from Makkah. Asma
    informed the Messenger of Allah of her arrival
    and also that she needed help. He said Be good
    to your mother (Bukhari, Muslim).

Mothers QA
  • Have you ever said uff to your mom?
  • "Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but
    Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one
    or both of them attain old age in thy life, say
    not to them a word of contempt (Uff), nor repel
    them, but address them in terms of honor. And out
    of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility,
    and say My Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy even
    as they cherished me in childhood' "(Quran
  • Do you disobey your mom?
  • Abdullah ibn Amr related that the Messenger of
    Allah said, may Allah's peace and blessings be
    upon him The major sins are to believe that
    Allah has partners, to disobey one's parents, to
    commit murder, and to bear false witness
    (Bukhari, Muslim).
  • Do you send your mom gifts?
  • Aisha narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace
    and blessings be upon him) said Exchange gifts
    with one another, for they remove ill feelings
    from the hearts (Tirmidhi).

Mothers What if.
  • If your mom is a non-Muslim
  • If your mom is a non-Muslim, try fasting for a
    day (Nafil or extra fasting), and keep thinking
    and praying for her. Ask Allah that He guides her
    and ask Him what you can do to help her
    understand her own Creator.
  • If mom is not alive
  • If your mom is not alive, visit her relatives and
    friends and ask what you can do for them.
    Consider these two Hadiths (sayings of the
    Prophet Muhammad peace and blessings be upon
  • The Messenger of Allah said When a person dies,
    his actions come to an end, except for three
    things a continuing Sadaqa (charity), knowledge
    from which benefit is still being derived, and a
    righteous child who prays for her or him
    (translated meaning from Muslim).
  • Abu Usaid Saidi said We were once sitting with
    Rasulullah when a man from the tribe of Salmah
    came and said to him O Messenger of Allah! do my
    parents have rights over me even after they have
    died? And Rasulullah said Yes. You must pray to
    Allah to bless them with His Forgiveness and
    Mercy, fulfill the promises they made to anyone,
    and respect their relations and their friends
    (Abu Dawud and Ibn Majah).

Mothers Hajj/Umra Lesson
  • Muslims who perform the Hajj or Umra must run in
    the middle portion of the distance between Safa
    and Marwa seven times. Safa and Marwa are two
    hills close to the Kaba. This is a commemoration
    of one mother's sacrifice for her son.
  • That mother was Hajira (may Allah be pleased with
    her). Her son was the Prophet Ismail (peace be
    upon him). Prophet Ibrahim (peace be upon him)
    was Hajira's husband, and Ismail's father.
  • Hajira's example of sacrifice took place when she
    and her baby was left in the valley of Makkah by
    Allah's order as pioneers to start a
  • Here was the wife of a Prophet, the princess of
    the king of Egypt, left with her child in the
    desert. All for the sake of pleasing our Creator.
  • As Prophet Ibrahim headed for his next
    responsibility from Allah, he reached an area
    where Hajira and Ismail could not see him. At
    that point, he turned back, raising his hands in
    Dua and said,
  • "O Our Lord! I have made of my offspring to dwell
    in a valley without cultivation by Your Sacred
    House in order Our Lord, that they may establish
    regular Prayer so fill the hearts of some among
    men with love towards them, and feed them with
    fruits, so that they may give thanks." (Quran
  • Hajira returned to her place and started drinking
    water from the water-skin, and her milk increased
    for her child.
  • But when she had used up all of the water, she
    ascended the Safa hill and looked, hoping to see
  • The area was empty.
  • She came down and then ran up to Marwa hill. She
    ran to and fro (between the two hills) many
    times, then went to check on her baby Ismail.
  • He was dying. And she could find no water for him
    or herself.
  • She could not watch her son perish. How could any
  • 'If I go and look, I may find somebody,' she told
    herself. Then she went and ascended the Safa hill
    and looked for a long while but could not find
  • In all,Hajira ran seven rounds between Safa and
    Marwa, in the hot, waterless valley, where her
    thirsty baby lay.
  • She told herself to go back and check on Ismail.
    But suddenly she heard a voice it was the Angel
  • 'Help us if you can offer any help," she said to
  • The angel hit the earth with his heel and water
    gushed out. Hajira was astonished and started
    digging. Allah, as she had rightly proclaimed,
    had not abandoned them.
  • Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon
    him), in the Hadith in Bukhari in which much of
    this incident is narrated, said, "If she (Hajira)
    had left the water, (flow naturally without her
    intervention), it would have been flowing on the
    surface of the earth."
  • Today we are bearing the fruits of this mother's
    struggle and sacrifice. Many of us drink and have
    drunk from the well of Zamzam. And those of us
    who have made Hajj run in a much more comfortable
    way than Hajira ever did, between Safa and Marwa.

Islamic Parenting
  • One of the greatest challenges a Muslim will ever
    face is being a parent
  • Allah tells us in the Quran that our children are
    our trial and as such we should take the task of
    parenting seriously, and start learning from each

Islamic Parenting (cont.)
  • Compassion (Rehmat)
  • Compassion is only one component of the concept
    of mercy (Rehmat)
  • Others include kindness, respect, and love.
    Prophet Muhammad expressed disappointment when a
    Bedouin told him how he had never kissed any of
    his ten children.
  • Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon
    him) stated, "He is not of us who does not have
    compassion for his fellow beings".
  • It is interesting to note that when it comes to
    Hadith like this or Quranic quotes dealing with
    human behavior, we never stop to think that our
    children and family members are also our fellow
    human beings and that these golden rules must
    also be applied to them.

Islamic Parenting (cont.)Consultation
  • The Prophet has related that Allah says "Oh My
    servant. I look on high handedness as something
    not permissible for myself, and I have forbidden
    it for you. So do not oppress each other".
  • When we consult with each other in the domestic
    realm, both husband and wife must show respect
    for each other. This is one of the best ways to
    bond and to learn to listen to each other and to
    resolve conflicts. However, the consultation will
    only be fruitful if it is sincere and not merely
    a formality. Imposition of one's ideas with scant
    regard to the welfare of the whole family unit
    defeats the purpose of the most important Quranic
    principle of Shura.

Islamic Parenting (cont.)
  • Cooperation
  • Sura Al-Asr best demonstrates the concept of
    cooperation " counsel each other to the truth
    (Haq), and counsel each other to patience and
    fortitude (Sabr)".
  • When a family unit cooperates in this manner,
    they truly capture the spirit of Islam the
    welfare of each member of the family becomes the
    concern of the other.

Islamic Parenting (cont.)
  • Commitment
  • Family units should commit to Allah and His
    Prophet(s) "Obey Allah and His Prophet and those
    in authority over you" (Nisa).
  • Collective commitment gives Muslim families an
    identity and it allows them to map out their
    purpose that is, we all belong to Allah and
    are accountable and responsible to Him.

Islamic Parenting (cont.)
  • Communication is more than talking. It is an
    essential part of family life. It is both talking
    in a manner in which others can understand you,
    and hearing in a manner in which you can listen
    and understand others.
  • So many times people claim that they have no
    communication problem since they are always
    talking. However, the majority of the time they
    are talking "at" and not talking "to". This mode
    usually results in the recipient tuning out. Many
    children at an early age learn to tune out their
  • When communication is a means to listening,
    understanding, and exchanging ideas, it is the
    most powerful tool to effective parenting and the
    best shield against peer and societal pressures.
  • It also teaches children skills to problem
    solving. An important component of positive
    communication is a sense of humor when parents
    and children can laugh together. Communication
    can also be instrumental in passing down family
    history and thus creating oneness and
    togetherness by sharing a mutual heritage
    (children love to hear about family stories).

Islamic Parenting (cont.)
  • Consistency
  • Effective parenting requires that we are
    consistent in our value judgments, discipline,
    and moral standards. Many parents inadvertently
    apply double standards to boys and girls when it
    comes to social behavior and domestic chores.
    This is unacceptable, and leads to sibling
    rivalry and stereotypical males and females.
  • Confidentiality
  • Family is with whom we can feel safe and secure.
    Where we know our secrets are safe and where
    there is mutual trust. Unfortunately, parents
    often betray the trust of their children when
    they discuss their concerns, which they confide
    in them to outsiders. This leads to mistrust, and
    sooner or later our children will stop confiding
    in us. This may take them to find confidants
    outside the family, sometimes non-Muslim peers,
    and this can be detrimental to their spiritual
    and moral growth.
  • Contentment (Tawakkul)
  • The greatest gift we can give our children is
    that of contentment. This can be developed very
    early in life by encouraging our children to give
    thanks to Allah for all they have by discouraging
    materialism by word and example, and by counting
    the blessings every night and remembering the
    less fortunate.

Islamic Parenting (cont.)
  • Confidence
  • It is the duty of parents to build confidence in
    our children through encouragement and honest and
    sincere praise. By developing confidence, we give
    our children the courage to stand up for
    themselves and their beliefs and to be able to
    deal with opposition.
  • Control
  • By teaching restraint and avoiding excess we
    develop in our children control so that they do
    not become slaves to their desires (Nafs).
  • Calm
  • By encouraging and showing calm in matters of
    adversity and in times of panic we improve our
    Taqwa (God consciousness) and teach our children
    to rely on Allah and to turn to Allah alone for
    all needs.
  • Courage
  • Courage of conviction can only be achieved when
    we have been able to teach our children true
    Islam. We should take advantage of every learning
    opportunity as a family so that our faith (Iman)
    flourishes and evolves towards Ihsan as a family
    unit. In this manner we can be a source of
    strength to each other.

Islamic Parenting (cont.)
  • Critical Thinking
  • The Quran encourages us over and over again to
    think, reflect, ponder, understand and analyze.
    However, very rarely do. Parents must encourage
    children to ask questions. Our response to
    difficult inquiries from our children is to say
    "do it because I said so". This discourages the
    children from developing critical thinking. They
    become lazy and complacent and easy prey to cult
    type following. To take things at face value
    makes us vulnerable.
  • Charitable
  • The most important attitude of a Muslim
    personality is, as Prophet Muhammad stated "Do
    you not wish that Allah will forgive you? Then
    forgive your brothers and sisters". Many
    relationships break because people are not able
    to forgive each other. It is important that
    parents make up in front of their children by
    forgiving each other after an argument. Prophet
    Muhammad stated, "Like for your brother what you
    like for yourself". So if husband and wife expect
    respect from each other they should give respect.
  • A charitable nature also encourages us to
    overlook people with their shortcomings and to be
    sensitive and to have empathy.

Islamic Parenting (cont.)
  • Competition
  • In Hadith, the Prophet said "Look up to one who
    is greater in piety so you strive to be like him
    and look upon one who is below you in material
    status so that you may be thankful to Allah's
  • As a Muslim community we should strive to teach
    our children to be weary of passing along a
    competitive spirit to our children.

Islamic Parenting (cont.)
  • Corruption
  • "If the truth was to follow their whims, the
    heaven and earth and all their inhabitants would
    be corrupt" (Quran part of 2371).
  • Weak Nafs and diseases of the heart lead to poor
    character, which of course is the result of
    grudging submission and conditional faith. When
    we corrupt our Deen (religion) by picking and
  • choosing what we want, practicing what suits us
    best and resisting and outright opposing what
    does not suit our fancy, we pay an enormous price
    by losing ourselves to the Dunya, and driving our
    children away from Islam.

Islamic Parenting (cont.)
  • Avoid
  • Carelessness
  • As Prophet Muhammad reminded us in his last
    sermon "Shaytan cannot mislead us in major issues
    of Faith but in minor issues". This is where our
    carelessness and lack of diligence can lead to
    weak character.
  • Colonization
  • This is a mind set that many immigrant parents
    have passed down to their children a sense of
    inferiority, a complex as such, that European and
    Western cultures are superior and better than
    that of their country of origin. This is a
    mentality that encourages imitation, following
    and serving rather than leadership.

Children in the Quran
  • The Qur'an uses various terms for children
  • Dhurriyya, ghulam, ibn, walad, walid, mawlud,
    ?abi, tifl, saghir

  • Quran cautioned against several practices towards
    children that existed in Pre-Islamic Arabia
  • Infanticide
  • Children as property

Children in the Quran (cont.)
  • Adoption
  • The Quran replaced the pre-Islamic custom of
    adoption by the recommendation that "believers
    treat children of unknown origin as their
    brothers in the faith and clients".

Children in the Quran (cont.)
  • Breastfeeding
  • The Qur'an forbids sexual relations between males
    and their milk-mothers or milk-sisters (423).
  • Verses 2233 and 656 are aimed at protecting
    lactating women and their nurslings by
    guaranteeing them economic support from the
    father for at least two years and by sanctioning
    non-maternal nursing when needed.

Children in the Quran (cont.)
  • Surah 2 233 states that mothers and fathers
    shall not have a burdens laid on them greater
    than they can bear
  • Mothers should breast-feed for 2 years and
    fathers should bear the cost of the mothers food
    and clothing on a reasonable basis
  • Neither Mothers nor fathers should not be treated
    unfairly on account of their children
  • If they both decide on weaning by mutual consent,
    then there is no sin on them

Children in the Quran (cont.)
  • Fatherless Children
  • The Qur'an in 19 verses forbids harsh and
    oppressive treatment of orphan's children while
    urging kindness and justice towards them.
  • Muhammad himself was an orphan and an early
    Qur'anic verse 936-8 celebrates God's providence
    and care towards him.
  • Other Qur'anic verses identify those who repulse
    the orphan as unbelievers (1072) rebuke those
    who do not honor the orphans and encourage the
    unbelievers to feed the orphans.
  • The Qur'an speaks of the reward waiting for those
    who feed orphans, poor and the prisoner for the
    love of God (768-9). It also warns those who
    wrongfully consume the property of orphans that
    they will be punished in the hereafter with "fire
    in their own bellies".
  • The Qur'an also gives concrete instructions to
    guardians regarding the orphans, particularly on
    how to protect their wealth and property rights.

Children in the Quran (cont.)
  • Rights of Children
  • Children have the right to be fed, clothed, and
    protected until they reach adulthood.
  • Children have the right to enjoy love and
    affection from their parents.
  • Children have the right to be treated equally,
    vis-a-vis their siblings in terms of financial
  • A tradition reports
  • Prophet Muhammad was reported as saying "Be fair
    and just in terms of the gifts you offer your
    children. If I was to give preference to any
    (gender over the other) I would have preferred
    females over males (in terms of giving gifts)."
  • Children have the right to education.
  • A saying attributed to Muhammad relates "A
    father gives his child nothing better than a good
  • Parents are recommended to provide adequately for
    children in inheritance.

Children in the Quran (cont.)
  • The following anecdote demonstrates the rights of
  • One day a man came to Umar ibn al-Khattab to
    complain of disobedient son. So Umar had brought
    the boy to him and he blamed him for his
    disobedience. Then the boy addressed Umar by
    saying "O Commander of the faithful Are there no
    rights for boy against his father?". Umar said
    "yes". Then the boy said "What are these rights O
    Commander of the Faithful?" Umar said, "To choose
    a good mother for him, to select good name to him
    and to teach him the Quran" Then the boy said "O
    Commander of the faithful my father has not
    accomplished any of these rights. As for my
    mother, she was a black slave for a Magian As
    for my name, he has named me Jual (beetle) and
    he has not taught me even one letter from the
    Quran". Then Umar turned round to the man and
    said "you came to me complaining disobedience on
    the part of your son, whereas you have not given
    him his rights. So you have made mistakes against
    him before he has made mistakes against you".

Children and Adoptees
  • By a verse in the Qur'an, Muhammad instructed
    adoptive parents to refer to their adoptive
    children by the names of their biological
    parents, if known
  • ... Nor has He made your adopted sons your
    (biological) sons. Such is (only) your (manner
    of) speech by your mouths. But Allah tells (you)
    the Truth, and He shows the (right) Way. Call
    them by (the names of) their fathers that is
    juster in the sight of Allah. But if you know not
    their father's (names, call them) your brothers
    in faith, or your trustees. But there is no blame
    on you if you make a mistake therein. (What
    counts is) the intention of your hearts. And
    Allah is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful.
    (Qur'an 334-5)
  • Islamic adoption is termed kafala, originating
    from a word meaning "to feed." In essence, it
    describes more of a foster-parent relationship.
    Some other Islamic customs surrounding this
    relationship are
  • An adopted child inherits from his or her
    biological parents, not automatically from the
    adoptive parents.
  • When the child is grown, members of the adoptive
    family are not considered blood relatives, and
    are therefore not muhrim to him or her. "Muhrim"
    refers to a specific legal relationship that
    regulates marriage and other aspects of life.
    Essentially, members of the adoptive family would
    be permissible as possible marriage partners, and
    rules of modesty exist between the grown child
    and adoptive family members of the opposite sex.
  • If the child is provided with property/wealth
    from the biological family, adoptive parents are
    commanded to take care and not intermingle that
    property/wealth with their own. They serve merely
    as trustees.

Rights of Parents in Islam
  • Parents are to be obeyed and respected by their
  • The Prophet said thrice, "Should I inform you out
    the greatest of the great sins?" They said, "Yes,
    O Allah's Apostle!" He said, "To join others in
    worship with Allah and to be undutiful to one's
    parents." The Prophet then sat up after he had
    been reclining (on a pillow) and said, "And I
    warn you against giving a false witness", and he
    kept on saying that warning till we thought he
    would not stop.
  • The mother has the right to receive the best
    treatment than accorded to any other person, in
    addition the mother has the right of custody of
    the child in general circumstances.
  • A man came to the Prophet and said, "O Allah's
    Apostle! Who is more entitled to be treated with
    the best companionship by me?" The Prophet said,
    "Your mother." The man said. "Who is next?" The
    Prophet said, "Your mother." The man further
    said, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your
    mother." The man asked for the fourth time, "Who
    is next?" The Prophet said, "Your father.

Rights of Parents in Islam (cont.)
  • Parents have the right to spank those of their
    children above the age of ten years who neglect
    in performing Islamic prayers in Sunni Islam.
  • Regarding those who would spank children a fatwa
    of the Mufti Kafaayatullah provides as follows
    Excluding the face and sensitive parts of the
    body, it is allowed to beat a child for the
    purposes of discipline so long as the limits are
    not transgressed. i.e. to beat the child in a
    manner that a wound is inflicted, or a bone
    fractured or broken, or a bruise appears or an
    internal disorder results (to the heart or
    brains, etc.). If the limits are transgressed as
    described above in any way, even by a single
    stroke, such a person will be regarded as
  • Parents have the right to rebuke their children
    to protect them from physical or moral harm.
  • Parents have the right to be looked after by
    their children, and to receive physical or
    financial help as necessary, especially in their
    old age.

Respect for Parents
  • The recognition and respect of parents is
    mentioned in the Quran eleven times in every
    instance, Allah reminds children to recognize and
    to appreciate the care and love they have
    received from their parents.
  • "We have enjoined on humankind kindness to
    parents."  Quran 298 and 4615
  • "And (remember) when We made a covenant with the
    children of Israel, (saying) worship none save
    Allah (only), and be good to parents..." Quran
  • In Surah Al-Nisaa' (The Women) Allah emphasizes
    again that children should be kind to their
    parents "And serve Allah. Ascribe nothing as
    partner unto Him. (Show) Kindness unto parents...
    " Quran 436
  • The same directive is repeated again In Surah Al
    An'Am (The Cattle), where Allah says "Say Come,
    I will recite unto you that which your Lord has
    made a sacred duty for you that you ascribe
    nothing as partner unto Him and that you do good
    to parents..." Quran 6151

Respect for Parents (cont.)
  • Islam teaches us that respect for parents comes
    immediately after praying to Allah and before
    Jihad (struggle and striving in the way of
  • The Prophet said the following
  • Narrated by Abi Abder Rahman Abdullah bin Massoud
    (May Allah be pleased with him) saying I asked
    the Prophet , "which deed is more liked by
    Allah?" He replied, "Prayers on time." Then I
    asked, "Which one is next?" He said, "Goodness to
    parents." Then I asked, "Then which one is next?"
    He said, "Jihad in the way of Allah." (Agreed)
  • In Islam, respect for parents is so great that
    the child and his wealth are considered to be the
    property of the parents. The Prophet said
  • Narrated by Aisha that a person came to the
    Prophet to resolve his dispute with his father
    regarding a loan given to the father. The Prophet
    said to the person, "You and your wealth are to
    your father."

Respect for Parents (cont.)
  • Children should honor their parents even after
    they have
  • passed away. Quran teaches us to
  • Make daily Du'a (prayer) for them
  • Give a charity on their behalf
  • Institute a perpetual charity on their behalf -
    such as a Masjid, an Islamic Center, an Islamic
    Library, an Islamic hospital, an orphanage, a
    senior citizen's home, etc.
  • Perform Hajj on their behalf or ask someone to do
  • Read Quran on their behalf
  • Distribute Islamic Literature on their behalf

  • Marriage is ordained and adultery is forbidden so
    that paternity may be established without doubt
    or ambiguity.
  • Through marriage a woman is reserved for one man
    it is haram for her to be unfaithful to him or to
    let anyone else have access to what belongs
    exclusively to him. Thus, every child born to her
    in wedlock will be her husband's child.
  • "The child is attributed to the one on whose bed
    it is born," (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim.
    Literally "The child belongs to the bed.")
    declared the Prophet of Islam (peace be on him).

  • If a man is convinced or strongly suspects,
    although without having proof, that his wife has
    had sexual relations with another man and is
    carrying his child, he can take the case to a
    Muslim judge (qadi).
  • According to Surah al-Nur As for those who
    accuse their wives but have no witnesses except
    themselves, the testimony of one of them shall
    consist of bearing witness by Allah four times
    that he is of the truthful, and a fifth (time)
    that the curse of Allah be upon him if he is one
    of those who lie. And it shall avert the
    punishment from her if she bear witness by Allah
    four times that he is indeed of those who lie,
    and a fifth (time) that the wrath of Allah be
    upon her if he is among the truthful. (246-9)
  • After this the two shall be separated
    permanently, and the child shall be identified by
    the name of his or her mother.

  • Nor has He made your adopted sons your (real)
    sons that is simply a saying of your mouths. But
    Allah speaks the truth, and He guides you to the
    (right way). Call them by (the names of) their
    fathers that is more just in the sight of Allah.
    But if you do not know their fathers, they are
    your brothers-in-faith and your wards....(334-5)
  • Islam abolished all the effects of this system of
    adoption which relate to inheritance and to
    prohibition of marriage to the widowed or
    divorced wife of the adopted son. In matters of
    inheritance, the Qur'an does not recognize any
    claim except those based on relationship through
    blood and marriage ...But blood relatives are
    nearer to each other in the ordinance of

  • With regard to marriage, The Qur'an declared that
    only the wives of one's real sons, "the wives of
    your sons who are from your (own) loins" (423),
    not the wives of the adopted sons, are
    permanently forbidden in marriage. Accordingly,
    it is permissible for a man to marry the divorced
    wife of his adopted son, since she has been, in
    actuality, the wife of a "stranger" not related
    by blood.

  • "I, and the one who raises an orphan, will be
    like these two in the Garden (Hadith)
  • Quran encourages us to treat orphans like our own
    children feed, educate, protect, and love them
  • If a man has no children of his own, and he
    wishes to benefit such a child from his wealth,
    he may give him whatever he wants during his
    lifetime and may also bequeath to him up to
    one-third of his inheritance before his death.

  • Sa'd bin Abi Waqqas narrated that the Prophet
    (peace be on him) said, If someone claims a
    person as his father with the knowledge that he
    is not his father, the Garden will be forbidden
    to him. (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim.)

  • Your children have the right of receiving equal
    treatment, as you have the right that they should
    honor you. (Reported by Abu Daoud) "Fear Allah
    and treat your children with equal justice."
    (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim.)
  • Imam Ahmad bin Hanbal said that preferential
    treatment of a child is permitted if he or she is
    handicapped while others are not. (a handicap,
    blindness, his or her being from a large family,
    being engaged in studies, etc.)
  • It is also permitted to withhold from a child
    who would spend what he is given on sinful or
    wicked things.

Fathers and Mothers
  • Pleasing one's parents is considered so important
    in Islam that the son is forbidden to volunteer
    for jihad without his parent's permission
  • According to Hadith
  • A man came to the Prophet (peace be on him) and
    said, 'I have come to swear allegiance to you for
    hijrah, and I have left my parents weeping.' The
    Prophet (peace be on him) said to him, 'Return to
    them and make them laugh as you made them weep.'
    (Reported by al-Bukhari and others.)

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